Dealing with a breakup

Different people have different ways of dealing with a breakup. Tell anyone that you've just had a break and the most obvious reply would be 'been there, sister'. 'It ain't easy'. 'let me tell you how I got over that bastard'

- Some women like to drown their sorrows in melted chocolate. This is mostly accompanied by a romantic flick and tonnes of icecream and sobbing to 'Oh I miss him' moments. Little do they know that if they continue to do the same every night they'll end up with no other option but to miss the same ex, all their life.

- And then, some women engage themselves in worthless money swallowing activity like a makeover. Dude, had you done your hair and makeup before your boyfriend wouldn't have left you. What I don't understand is how can a haircut make you get over your ex? I mean, this just doesn't make sense. Its like, they go to the beauty parlor and hand the owner their credit card. Yeas, fuck this credit card. "My dad just transferred shit loads of money in my account. Take it bitch". They end up looking so different(not in a good way, mostly) that their parents refuse to recognize them. They go like "who's this bitch? What did she do to our daughter?"

- Some women just cannot believe that they're no more in a relationship. Or well, to be blunt, their boyfriend just dumped them for a hotter one. Which is why, on being asked about the breakup, they'll simply say "Oh, it was mutual". Mutual breakup what the fuck. We all know that such a thing doesn't exist. Also, these are the kind of women who'd innocently ask about their ex's current girlfriend pretending to not give a fuck but in their head they'r going like "I'm gonna make your life hell, bitch". And the very next moment they're like "But i don't know how, so fuck it".

- Then there are some, who use the distraction theory. They engage in some time and brain(lol?) consuming activity to keep them busy and distracted all day. Mostly used by students. Its like, just after the breakup, they return to their study, pick up a book which was lying in dust and never meant to be read until a week before exams and in their head they go like "I'm gonna fuck the shit outta this book tonight and challenge stephen hawkings for a science quiz tomorrow". Some actually succeed. On getting the report card, they stare in amazement and go "What! I topped?! How did this fuck even happen!"

If you ask me, just let it go. You may miss the person, which is okay. You may even want to cry, which is still okay. Its all okay unless its not some crazy shit you wish to do. We all stumble, fall down, get back on our feet and resume walking. Thats life. :)

[Note: many more categories are still left unexplored!]

When I put the 'I' in sigh

So yea, I've been pretty pathetic. Things haven't been that well on any front and I couldn't come up with a better beginning of this blogpost. All I want is a break. But from what, is this question. Not like I'm putting 18 hours a day of CAT preparation or even anything remotely productive in academics. But still, I want a break. With each passing day, it just gets more and more difficult. Ok maybe not, last sentence was nothing but an exaggeration. But still, no exaggerations when I say 'last 20 days were certainly the worst ever 20 days of my life.' Or maybe not, maybe the worst is still to come. Or maybe the worst is already over.

When my life was busy getting screwed, I realised nothing really has changed in the world. Emran Hashmi continued being the pathetic actor he always was and still getting the some of the hottest actresses of Bollywood to make out with him. People stopped posting random quotations as facebook statuses and so did the comments like "Hey........wht happened????????" Rather, they started talking.... I mean, posting in circles ;) And yes ofcourse, the 'indomitable' spirit of Mumbai.

So that was it, atleast for now. The funny blog posts should come back soon. Or lets hope they do. Till then, lets do what we generally do. Checking into twitter/facebook/google+ for the lulz.

Oh and btw, since Harry Potter and the deathly hallows-2 released today, I was suddenly reminded of my teenage crush, Daniel Radcliffe. A crush that lasted for about two movies. I still wouldn't miss this one, for old times sake.

Morning without masala chai

Some movie had this dialogue 'With great power comes great responsibility'. But very often I have seen that super powerful people are usually the ones who duck it. They can make a difference, but they don't. They simply delegate it. They can make things right, but they choose to use the power to chicken out. And not to stand up for those who need it.

Of internet and fights

Ok, I agree that online fights have their own advantages over oral altercations. Internet fights may still make sense when they support/disprove an issue. But its plain rubbish when the fight is out of personal disagreements. The brighter side of it is that you could say whatever you want without fearing the *consequences* and shit. But look at the darker side. Ok here

- You're having a heated argument over whatever little issue. The other person has slandered you enough and the score is loser vs bigger loser : 1-0. Your turn. And just when you're about to press enter, well you get disconnected. Final score: Loser- 1, bigger loser- 0, internet- 1000

- *that orgasmic feeling when you've sent a carefully crafted insult flavoured with abuses you came up with*. That. Well, now obviously you're expecting the other guy to behave in a certain manner. By certain I mean either typing a bigger insult than yours or saying 'hhmmmm......ffuuuuuuuuuuuuucccck you' and going offline. But but but, to your amazement he/she sends 'Hey i gtg, ttyl sweets. Bye gn sd <3 :*'. Its like, none of your actually made an impact. And even if they did, there's no way to know. Sad indeed.

- We all must agree that the disparity bet'n typing speeds do exist. And its highly possible that you might be the slower one. *Loser is typing a message*. After one minute, *Loser is still typing a message*. After 3 minutes, *there's a reason why he's called loser*. Thats it, the other guy's patience has been tested, So while you're typing/ checking for typos and grammatical errors for the 3rd time, the other person sends the message 'what a retard!' and goes offline. Embarrassment could have been averted had it been a verbal argument, no?

- Again, suppose you feel triumphant after typing a 100 word insulting reply. But alas, the feeling is short-lived. Under ordinary circumstances, you expect a longer reply. But all you get is 'Mail me the precis tomorrow.'. Irritating, no?

- Also, the online fight ends the moment the other loser spots a grammatical/spelling error. You're pwnd, live with it.

- Now you're wondering why the person you're fighting with isn't replying back. For the heck of inflating self esteem, you presume that he's got nothing sensible to offer. Well yea, pretty much. But little did you know that your opponent wasn't even paying attention to your messages (author's assumption). That's because you find yourself tagged in a picture as a result of some retarded facebook application. Typical abeyaar moment.

I still remember you

I'm not really into poetry and this is my very first attempt at writing one. Largely based on a friend's poetry. Look mom, I can be emo too!

Remember those parks wherein we used to walk?

Hand in hand, those idle talks?

The grass is still green, had always been

But the flowers of my heart, bloom no more.

Remember the dusk, the setting sun?

Those naughty talks, nonsensical puns?

The evenings are still the same, beautiful as ever

But at the end of the day, I await no sunshine.

Remember those restaurants, wherein loved to eat?

Amidst the crowd, listening to each others heart beats?

They still serve the same dishes, savory as ever

The plates may be full, but my heart remains empty.

Remember those phone calls, late night texts?

And the half asleep me, talking completely out of context?

The phone still rings, inbox still floods

But the reason to smile at my phone, exists no more.

I met you today, glances exchanged

The longing in the eyes, still unchanged.

My brain asks me to move on, heart tells to stand still

And how I realised, without missing you, I remain incomplete.

Osama's Last words

Just another blog on Osama Bin Laden. It somehow also proves that I exist.
Below mentioned are the possible last words of O.B.L. to the Navy Seal just minutes before his death.

1. Where's my pizza? Ohwait, you're not the pizza delivery boy. [from twitter]

2. Wasn't this a hide and seek game?

3. Play 'choli ke peeche kya hai' at my funeral.

4. Stop ogling at my wife, bitch.

5. There was no internet connectivity anyway.

6. This is what you get for watching 'Naughty at Forty'.

7. Niggaplease, I was preparing for CAT here.

8. Abottabad sounds funny, no?

9. I could kill you with 'my gun'. *cheesy voice* [well, little did he know that only arabs have a thing for the thing]

10. Hey, don't judge me. *hides his laptop which had this picture as the wallpaper. [credits: Denny George]

11. Damn you steve jobs, I know you were upto something! *smashes his iphone* Related story

12. You didn't even ring the doorbell.

13. Don't let Mahesh Bhatt make a movie on me.

14. I'm that dude from 'Tere Bin Laden'. Ok, that was lame.

15. Doremon's gadgets are better than yours. [see for yourself]

16. Fuck you all, I'm gonna get 72 virgins. Yay! :D

17. But first, help me with this smiley. What does ' :x|' mean?

Things not to say to your parents after failing in exams

1. Lets watch Taare Zameen Par.

2. No? Ok,Paathshaala? Sorry,bad idea.

3. Dad,I got you porn.*winks*

4. Shit happens.

5. Failure is the stepping stone to success.

6.Spanks later, let me tweet about this first.

7. I couldn’t have done much,was on the first bench.

8. Dude,you should’ve checked out the invigilator.

9. Blame the guy from whom I copied the entire paper.

10. Can I go to the party tonight?

11. iWant. Pocket money raise.

12. So,the leaked question paper I bought for 500 Rs. turned out to be useless.

13. Chup karo! Jhak Jhak bak bak. *the psycho look*

14.Whatever happens,happens for the best.

15. I’m gay.

16. kthxbai.

17. Laziness took over you know.

18. Fine,Disown me!!

19. Sirf number kam hain,dimag nahi.

20. Did you know Albert Einstein failed too? Just saying.

21. The know the ‘zero figure’ joke is pretty lame but I’m gonna crack it anyway.

22. At Least I got a colorful report card.

23. I didn’t want to be called a nerd for the rest of my life.